I just finished an interesting article in today's Los Angeles Times about negotiating the sale or purchase of a home and it got me thinking. 
The process most typically starts as a battle. The Seller generally wants to overprice the home because they "know" that the buyers are lining up to see how low they can go and how much they can get on top of that.
The Buyer is looking at every home as grossly overpriced and every Seller as desperate, so they are not going to spend one penny more of their hard-earned money than they need to.
The battle begins! How can this pattern be avoided?
The Buyer often wants to sit down with the Seller to tell them their life story and convince them of the justification of their offer. They are sure that the Seller is going to break down and meet their price. The Buyer and Seller should not meet. Negotiations should be at arms length through the agents, unless all avenues have been exhausted and the last resort is for the two parties to get together.
There is always the temptation for two agents to negotiate orally. This is a huge mistake. Everything should be in writing, because you can be sure something is going to be misinterpreted or missed, and come time for final agreement on paper someone is going to say that that is not what they understood or intended.
The article brought up an interesting point that when an offer is made, the Buyer is thinking of the house and the Seller is thinking of the move. As the counter offers start flowing then both sides start focussing on the money and forget about the house. And the more counter offers the less the house is in the picture, and the more personal it gets.
Better to give your bottom line early rather than lose the deal. If the Buyer asks for something, like a 60 day escrow when you want a shorter one, agree, but ask for something in return. This way the Buyer will not feel like they can ask for more. If you give in on the point the Buyer may think they can push for something else.
Also, if you can't agree on something, move to agree on everything else and come back to the one item, because you are moving things forward and not getting stuck on that one point and causing bad feelings.
The prevailing market will determine who has the upper hand in negotiations, but emotions should be taken out of the transaction. This is business. A battle is never going to have a good outcome. Someone is going to get wounded or killed!